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Showing posts with label Cllr Timothy Godfrey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cllr Timothy Godfrey. Show all posts

Sunday, 17 April 2016

Add your voice to the Save Croydon Libraries Campaign...

Information has gone out via two well-meaning sources who believe Croydon libraries are to close, along with a roughly scanned copy of the libraries consultation. This is not done on behalf of the campaign. This information also, unfortunately, went out with the council's glossy spiel about investing in libraries and that Croydon libraries are fully-staffed! Anyone visiting a library in Croydon knows that is far the case. The council's statement made about Upper Norwood Library being saved is also untrue.  As of 1 April 2016, it became a self-serve facility. The few staff remaining are only there to issue current library users with new cards for the new facility which will have no librarians or library staff.
This is not what Upper Norwood Library campaign fought for and a battle the new Trust now has to take on. The local politicians seem to think this is perfectly acceptable and wave on the loss of staff with a few platitudes...

That is a battle now for the newly formed Trust to take forward...
So, Getting involved and staying informed
If you want to stay up to date with the Save Croydon Libraries campaign - a campaign covering all thirteen Croydon libraries - please join the list at SaveCroydonLibraries@gmail.com You can join the facebook group to discuss matters and follow the local campaigns on Twitter.
You can comment on this website, or even contribute a post.

Contribution to the survey
There is a clear PDF of the Save Croydon Libraries website, in the last post, which also explains the issues people have been having so that people are forewarned before completing the survey.
The intention of providing this was twofold. It meant that residents could share the survey with those not online who may want to express a view. It also meant that those who were able to complete it online could consider the survey first before completing it online, therefore avoiding the issues some have reported of the survey closing before they've had time to add comments they wished to make.

It is not provided purely to increase the workload of the council officer responsible, who will have to manually input responses provided in this way, not to increase the workload of the limited number of staff still in our libraries!

The Campaign is not encouraging everyone to do a paper copy as the information in circulation from other sources appears to imply. If you are providing a copy to someone else, please provided them with the PDF attached here, and not a scanned copy that is not as legible.

DOWNLOAD IT HERE:  

Croydon Libraries survey

You may even like to defer responding until after the public meeting.


Public Meeting - 26 April 2016
The public meeting is being called by the community for the community, in the absence of any of any public meetings being called by the council. Councillors Timothy Godfrey and Lynne Hale have been invited to attend to answer your questions and hear your views.

Places are limited. Please see the full details and book a place if you plan to attend. See: https://croydoncc.wordpress.com/2016/04/06/ccc-public-meeting-on-libraries-tues-26-april-2016/




Please spread the word!

Friday, 15 April 2016

Have your say ....the Croydon libraries survey

The ruling Labour administration claim to be ambitious for libraries yet it is unclear how they could be any more unambitious for libraries or in seeking the views of residents.

The survey
It helps the council officer responsible if you can complete the survey online, but it is useful to view the documents before you attempt to do it online so you have time to consider your answers and in order to avoid the issues people have had, as listed below.

Please keep a note of the responses you give, particularly your comments, so we can be sure they are reflected in the final report. These can be emailed to SaveCroydonLibraries@gmail.com

If you prefer to do a paper copy, don't be put off from doing so.

One library at least has been given paper copies to offer out yet others have no paper copies at all Some residents have managed to get a copy by post, others have been denied this.

 This is far from a fair process.

And the survey has been widely criticised, both by those who have managed to access it and by those from further afield.


Please complete it online, which you can find here: http://www.croydon.gov.uk/ambitious4libraries

or complete a hard copy, which you can request from a library, or which you can download to use and share with others by clicking on the link below.

'Libraries for the future - we want your views' survey 


Please keep a copy so we can be sure that all views offered are registered.

And don't forget to book to attend the meeting called by the community.  Places are limited.  See details and link below.



THE BACKGROUND:

Misinformation and scare tactics
First, the Croydon rumour mill went into overdrive, with Timothy Godfrey, the Cabinet member responsible, making a statement about having no legal duty to provide anything other than the statutory ones for Croydon which might be interpreted as just Croydon Central Library.

There were rumours of an engagement exercise, but the details could not be found. This is all based on Croydon Labour's pre-election promise to reverse the sell-off of Croydon libraries, with grand statements about commitments to rip-up the libraries contract with Carillion prior to the election, a plan that was shelved when in power.

Failure to consult
The consultation/engagement/survey was launched very quietly in late March, with no details on display in libraries and no consultation documents on offer in libraries, and the council officer responsible emphatic that there would be no notices or displays to advertise the consultation, nor paper copies made available as the survey must be completed online.

Those wanting a paper copy have to request one, in person, at a library. Their process advised was that the details would be taken and passed to the council officer who would then post a single copy out.  In some cases at least, the request had to go via the library manager before being passed on. Some residents have received a copy via this route.  Others have not.

Those completing it online express concerns about the survey being hard to complete, playing up or that it closes before the respondent has had a chance to say all they want to say.

The only meeting on libraries is one by the community
There are no public meetings planned, only focus groups, the location and time of which are secret. There is a public meeting called to discuss the issue, but this is a meeting called by the residents for the residents. Whether or not Cllr Timothy Godfrey will attend remains unclear, as was the case when he failed to respond to requests to attend a meeting, again called by the community, on the fate of the Fairfield Halls.  Cllr Lynne Hale has accepted the invitation to attend and Conservative councillors have given some indication that they are concerned about the lack of clarity on plans and the poor advertising of engagements on Croydon libraries and on Croydon parks...

Please book a place if you plan to attend as demand is likely to exceed capacity. For details and updates, see: https://croydoncc.wordpress.com/2016/04/06/ccc-public-meeting-on-libraries-tues-26-april-2016/



Thursday, 7 April 2016

Meeting on Croydon libraries consultation - 26 April 2016

Croydon Council has no plans for public meetings on libraries to consult residents.

A recent community meeting highlighted that residents were generally unaware of the current consultations running and this includes the libraries consultation so a public meeting has been called and Cllr Timothy Godfrey and Cllr Lynne Hale have been invited.

The meeting will be held on Tuesday, 26 April 2016 in central Croydon.

Places are limited so if you want to attend, please book a place.

The focus of the meeting is only on the Croydon libraries consultation and the meeting is strictly apolitical.

Full details are here: https://croydoncc.wordpress.com/2016/04/06/ccc-public-meeting-on-libraries-tues-26-april-2016/


Is this the future we want?
Facebook: Save Croydon Libraries
Twitter: SaveCroydonLibs
Email: SaveCroydonLibraries@gmail.com

Saturday, 19 March 2016

Croydon's ambition for libraries is on the line

In opposition, Croydon Labour promised to rip up the library contract.

Their pre-election campaign was focussed on being 'Ambitious for Croydon'. See the manifesto here, which includes:



But, once in power, Croydon Labour went rather quiet on the matter of ripping up the libraries contract.

Whatever happened to that ambition?


A jumble of languages; not the ordered packed
shelves of a few years ago.


In opposition, they were keen to seek the help and advice of Tim Coates.

In power, they didn't even respond when they were advised that Tim had offered to travel to the UK, at his cost, to advise again on Croydon Libraries.

That's hardly ambitious.


The libraries have continued to flounder - less stock, fewer staff, and appalling promotion of what Croydon libraries have to offer.

It's lucky the lack of staffing doesn't show.


Do you think this is at all ambitious for libraries? 

It's not really clear how ambition features in what many view as a 'fingers firmly plugged in the ears, hands firmly clasped across the eyes' approach to tackling the issue at hand.

Messages featured on desks on entire floors of Central Library.


Rather than rip up the contract with Carillion, or hold Carillion to account for the service they are contracted to offer, Croydon Council has come up with... Ambitious for Libraries


The plan goes to the Cabinet meeting on Monday 21 March 2016, which includes a consultation period from 22 March through to May 2, 2016.

You can find the papers here:
Cabinet Meeting, Agenda item 8:
Ambitious for the Library Service in Croydon - gaining the views of the community

When asked what people thought previously, Croydon residents gave a clear message. 
You can find the details, here.

Croydon residents valued their libraries and the experienced staff that delivered the service so well; a service now ripped to shreds by privatisation. They did not want to run their libraries, nor feel equipped to do so.

Whether or not the current administration is really ambitious to address the steep decline in Croydon library services, only time will tell.

Let's hope for proper consultation this time round.




Sunday, 17 August 2014

Carillion's Curse - part 2

Keeping track of the situation, some two and a half months on...

It is fair to say that modest progress has been made since the previous post reporting the state of Croydon Central Library back at the end of May.

You ARE now welcome to Croydon Central Library

Gone is the unwelcoming closed entrance shutter that was in place for so many months, 













even if somewhat reluctantly opened....

thanks to the efforts of the lead for Libraries, Cllr Timothy Godfrey.


Sadly though, library users are still so conditioned to going in the exit, the exit is the main entrance for most, even months later.






Lighting, surroundings and outlook

The lighting was dim on all floors months ago, and still is.

Previously some of the seating was in a poor state and, at times, oddly placed.

Now the issue of oddly placed furniture appears to have been remedied but the furniture remains in a poor state with threadbare seating still apparent.




Months ago there was a partly dismantled shelving unit, complete with metal shelving protruding beyond wooden side of unit. 
 
The metal jutting out at child eye level was not even masked until weeks later.








Months on though, the piece of metal has been removed, perhaps as a result of a library user pointing this out to the person doing a health and safety inspection.

Quite what purpose the remaining structure serves nobody knows. It's still there.

Signage

Previously there were signs everywhere, advising of the systems in place, not to move chairs and tables, where to go when stations on different floors were unstaffed and that staff were no longer able to help on matters such as booking PCs.  There was odd signage too, referring to not plugging in lap tops at points where no sockets existed and not moving chairs from an area with no chairs.

Signs are inconsistently formatted - different colours, fonts and styles - giving an unloved and unprofessional feel to the place.

Other than the removal of some of the notices and colour coding that had been put in place by hastily and poorly applied thick coloured tape across corners of tables to denote study and non study tables, little has changed.

Before


And after

Some signs on tables still remain. Where removed, the cleaning contractors have not even managed to clean the sellotape marks off the tables, leaving grubby marks on surfaces.






Nice!

Promoting what's on offer

Sadly there is little change here. Shelves are often untidy and trolleys are stacked with unprocessed returns.



Displays are still dismal and the same as those on show months before.



The leaflet racks are often virtually empty.

The Twitter account @CroydonLibs still fails to engage with library users or to promote events.

And notable changes

for the better....
New IT and access to floors is now in working order
At least most, if not all, of the PCs are now in working order, which is a welcome change. Gone are the out of order signs on PCs, on the lifts and the escalator.

Magazines and papers are now readily available on shelves that lay bare before.



Uncertain future, sustainability or effect
Maps are also readily available.

Whether or not they are still available in branch libraries has not been explored though.

Staffing was increased, on occasion, after the previous post went up late May, but quickly dropped to previous levels.

At no time in the past few months have we seen, or anyone we've spoken to seen, staff on level 2 or on the ground floor in the children's library. Signs to direct library users are permanently in place and regular library users know the system well.

Staff are tied to work stations (presumably due to shortage of staffing), rarely on the floor engaging with library users or dealing with stock on shelves and trolleys. Queues at desks are often evident.

Negative
Ever reducing stock
It is of concern that the stock is reducing even further. The proliferation of hazard-taped spots, empty shelving and bare unworn flooring where shelving once stood is ever more apparent.





So what exactly is Croydon getting for their money from Carillion?

 Not a great deal.

Let's hope the damage can be reversed by the new Labour administration.

Croydon Labour continue to promise a public meeting.

To be fair to Croydon Labour it is early days for the new administration. Nevertheless it is clear that Croydon libraries need urgent action and support.

Liaison with the lead on libraries, Cllr Timothy Godfrey and hid deputy Cllr Oliver Lewis has been sought, with an offer of support. A meeting with the Leader. Cllr Tony Newman, has been held, with promise of more engagement with the campaign.

The new administration is making positive noises about keeping their election pledge to bring Croydon Libraries back in house.

Let's hope this aim is realised.  It is the only point that has raised serious spontaneous applause at two public meetings in Croydon recently. 

Monday, 18 March 2013

Consult? Nah! Croydon Labour know best

Labour plan to impose Co-operative Trusts on the network of Croydon libraries; no consultation or public engagement, presumably no consultation with staff.

 How many residents visit the Croydon Labour site? Not many by the looks of it if the campaigners and residents shock at this announcement is anything to go by. The campaign has even spoken to staunch Labour supporters who had no idea this was the plan.



But, proudly displayed on the Croydon Labour website is the following undated entry.

Libraries safe with Labour 
BRIGHT FUTURE FOR CROYDON LIBRARIES – LABOUR’S VISION FOR 2014 
Over the last 2-years the Conservative-run Council in Croydon has run down our libraries and threatened closure of 6 branches. This on top of closing the Mobile Library Service. 
The Conservatives are currently in a needless dispute about Upper Norwood Library; with the possibility of closure still on the table. 
Today Labour announces that it will pick up the work of the last Labour Council (1994 – 2006) which had a fantastic record of investment in Croydon’s Library service, including new buildings at Broad Green, Selsdon and Ashburton; full refurbishment of Upper Norwood Library (with Government funding) and initiation of Thornton Heath Library refurbishment project. All libraries made fully accessible.  
Since 2006, Tory run Croydon Council has not initiated any new investment in the Library service. Instead, it has closed the mobile library service; reduced staffing and allocated a £250,000 budget to privatise the whole library service. 
Key announcements:1) Labour will not be committed to the Library Service being run by a private company or another local authority2) Labour calls on the Conservative-run Council to cut the wasteful back office spend to make savings in the Library budget. In 2010 / 11 Croydon Council spent 44.78% of the Library budget on back office services: like computers, call centres and building maintenance etc.3) Labour is committed to a professionally run Library Service in each community. 4) Labour is committed to establishing local Co-operative Community Library Trusts that will be a partnership between residents, users and staff in running, managing, enhancing and developing Croydon’s libraries5) Labour is committed to local libraries reflecting local communities; ensuring that each library will develop in its own unique way alongside core library services 6) Labour has written to the bidders and the Council solicitor making the above points 
Councillor Timothy Godfrey, Shadow Cabinet Member for Libraries said:
“Residents have shown that they support their local library time and time again. It is time the Council stepped up and actually involved local people in protecting and developing their local library service. Privatisation is simply a lazy approach.”

Councillor Godfrey added 
“Those organisations that are bidding to run our library service now know in clear terms what Labour's plans are. If the Tories press ahead with this privatisation, we will be there in 2014 to pick up the pieces and re-build our library service in a cost effective, efficient way that engages properly with local people”
Upper Norwood Library again.
But do Labour show any real interest in Croydon's 13 libraries?

 Could there be any flaw in the plan? 

  • Croydon Labour claim residents and library campaigners support this plan, yet no one can locate these individuals. Save Croydon Libraries Campaign is recognised, both within and outside Croydon.  Who is this other campaign group no one has heard of and who are these residents remaining so silent, only talking to Labour?
  • And, most importantly, when they state, " Labour is committed to establishing local Co-operative Community Library Trusts that will be a partnership between residents, users and staff in running, managing, enhancing and developing Croydon’s libraries" when did residents ever indicate they wanted to run or manage our libraries?


Sunday, 17 March 2013

Can you believe #Croydon Labour on libraries?


A press release was issued today and kindly forwarded to the Campaign group as it had not shared directly with us. 

This press release will anger people further.  We are the campaign group in Croydon and no one has heard what we have to say so it is unbelievable that the press release is entitled "Labour Listens to Library Campaigners"

Here is the contents of the press release in its entirely.

LABOUR LISTENS TO LIBRARY CAMPAIGNERS
Croydon's Labour Leader Cllr Tony Newman and Lambeth Leader Cllr Lib Peck joined forces with Upper Norwood councillor Pat Ryan this week to restate Labour’s commitment to the much loved and treasured Upper Norwood Joint library. Labour Leader Councillor Tony Newman said:  
"Labour councillors have forced an Emergency meeting on Croydon Council for this Monday to defend all of Croydon's libraries; fighting Tory plans to privatise our valued libraries and their staff. The Tories plans to sell our libraries will cost council tax payers in Croydon more money and it will rip the heart out of the libraries vital role in our community. These are not my words but those of library users and campaigners in Croydon.”  
Labour’s spokesperson for Libraries Councillor Timothy Godfrey said: 
"The Upper Norwood Library Trust is a model that the incoming Labour council of 2014 is determined to see rolled out across to other libraries in Croydon. It will give the community a real say in how our libraries are run and what services are provided there." 
Leader of Lambeth Council Councillor Lib Peck said: 
"I was delighted to join Croydon Labour colleagues to reaffirm our commitment to Upper Norwood Library service and supporting Croydon Labour's fight against the Tory cuts to library services and other sectors in Croydon."

Croydon Labour have not forced a meeting.  This is procedure.

Croydon Conservatives do not plan to " sell our libraries".

If Croydon Labour insist on ignoring the views of residents they will have little chance of becoming "the incoming Labour Council of 2014" as no one will trust them. At least the Conservatives kept up the pretence of consulting. It was a totally flawed consultation and ignoring the views of residents but at least they went through the motions.  But Labour, who promised a public meeting that never materialised, are now foisting a plan, built of political dogma, without any engagement with the public.

Where did this come from? Does anyone know?

Is there any party in Croydon likely to actually represent the views and wishes of Croydon residents?

If there are any residents or library campaigners who are in contact with Labour and feeding in these views please do get in touch as we do not know of you and would like to understand where this has come from.

We doubt very much they exist.





Saturday, 2 March 2013

Labour's Statement on #Croydon Libraries

We reproduce Labour's press release which was posted by a member on our Facebook page, along with further clarification and an audio extract for those not present at the meeting.

Croydon Labour Press Release:

TORY LIBRARY COVER-UP AS CONTRACT COLLAPSES


Despite warnings from Labour councillors in previous meeting and widespread public opposition, Cllr Fisher’s Tory administration dream of selling off our much loved libraries lay in tatters last night as Laing’s integrated services spectacularly pulled the plug on Croydon – despite being handed hundreds of millions of pounds of our money as taxpayers from Croydon Conservatives.

Wasting council tax payers money was clearly not a concern as the humiliating u-turn was tucked away at the end of the full council meeting. In a calculated abuse of local democracy, the increasingly controversial Mayor of Croydon refused to allow Labour’s spokesperson for libraries to question the Tory frontbench over the debacle.

The decision to go back to tender to sell off our libraries is one of the biggest issues in Croydon, so one could be forgiven for expecting such an announcement to be given more prominence and urgency. This on the night that Croydon residents are asked to fork out more money than they can afford to pay for the Croydon Tory Council Tax hike.

Labour’s spokesperson for Libraries Councillor Timothy Godfrey said:

“The Tory failure to run this borough properly is now costing tax payers dearly. We need to implement real savings in the library service now and in a responsible way that is not based on the dogma of privatisation. Labour’s plan can be implemented now and can deliver the savings that had been promised by Laings; savings that can be used to benefit local people rather than go into the pockets of Laing’s shareholders.

Labour Leader Councillor Tony Newman said:

“We are calling an emergency meeting of the council to hold to account the Tory front bench and seek a full explanation in light of this latest act of total incompetence and waste of money. Surely 5-years later the full details of the secret deal to build a multi-million pound luxury Tory HQ in so called partnership with Laing’s must be published for all to see.”


For those not at the meeting some points may not be clear from listening to the announcement made, which Cllr Pollard clearly refers to as "a small announcement" You can listen here. 

Bear the following in mind as you listen:

The order of the agenda items were altered, knowing that this announcement would therefore come at the end of the meeting, giving no time for councillors to raise any questions. This appears to be a deliberate ploy to silence any discussion and if you listen the Mayor is quick to state "no questions". This is followed by the most bullish behaviour from the Mayor, Cllr Eddy Arram, likened by some on twitter to someone barking orders at a dog, as he repeatedly shouted at Cllr Godfrey, "Sit down!" and then "Out!".  The audio even picks up someone spitting under their breath, in exasperation, " Get him out of here, now!"

What followed was that Cllr Timothy Godfrey was evicted from the Chambers, his Labour colleagues followed, and the Conservative Councillors are then heard to laugh heartily at agreeing to receive the reports, without challenge, with no one present to object.

There is not only no real democracy in Croydon there is clearly no shame as to how low those who claim to serve us will sink in order to push through their plans and cover up the complete collapse of their procurement process.

You can listen to the full meeting on Croydon Radio.



Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Croydon's Libraries farce

At last night's council meeting Cllr Tim Pollard shocked everyone by announcing that it's back to the drawing board for libraries.  Here is the transcript of his announcement.
"I do have a small announcement. 
(Cheers from the chamber and the public gallery)
Thank you for that warm welcome I thought I should update the chamber on the latest position with regards to our finalisation  of a new libraries service contract. 
Members will recall that in November 2012, on the recommendation of the corporate services committee,  it was agreed that John Laing Integrated services should be appointed as preferred bidder for our libraries management contract, their solution being the highest score on price and the quality criteria we'd set. 
Preferred bidder status  enables the bidder and the council to confirm commitments in the run-up to the formal signing of the contract. However, during the process of clarifying these final terms with with our preferred bidder, they unexpectedly introduced a late amendment relating to capping possible future pensions contributions. 
Although there is only a very small chance of this impacting on future costs it does change the risk profile and the commercial position. When changes of this kind are put forward we have to follow the EU procurement rules and act accordingly. As a result, and to ensure fairness to all of the  bidders, we have to take a step back in the process to allow all the final bidders time to consider this change and to propose any amendments they wish to their final proposals. 
 It is important for Council to understand that all bidders are at liberty to adjust their final bid in any way they choose, subject to the procurement rules, and can adjust bid elements completely unrelated to the material change which triggered this reopening of the bidding stage, if they wish to. 
Two of the three short-listed bidders have confirmed they will be re-entering the procurement dialogue which is likely to lead to a resubmission of their final bids. Those final bids,  including any changes made, will then be evaluated against our original criteria and we will move forward again to the preferred bidder stage with the highest scoring tenderer. This does not necessarily have to be the same  bidder as was previously confirmed as the preferred bidder. 
Although this does mean a short delay before the contract can be agreed and signed it is necessary in the circumstances. 
The council is committed to keeping all the branches of our libraries open and we are determined to secure the best value for all local taxpayers through our financial negotiations. 
Thank you, Mr Mayor."
You can listen for yourself and hear the uproar as a result of Cllr Pollard's "small announcement" here, from 50 minutes in, thanks to Croydon Radio.

After the opposition councillor Timothy Godfrey was denied the right to speak and ejected from the council Chamber his Labour colleagues left, in protest. 


The arrogance of the incumbent administration who begged to serve Croydon is beyond words.


Thursday, 10 January 2013

Increasing the cost of running libraries - So #Croydon

It is shameful that £250K was wasted on a procurement process that sees Croydon awarding the libraries contract to JLIS, a subsidiary of John Laing, but the farce does not end there.

The procurement process was sold to residents as a way of saving money, by working with Wandsworth, therefore offering economies of scale. Laing  is  a company that is already heavily involved in Croydon, including the building of the shiny new council HQ, which Croydon council  insists is being built at nil cost, and a £450m regeneration scheme.  The truth is exposed as various deals are already coming unstuck. If you want further details Inside Croydon covers this issue extensively.

But Wandsworth appointed GLL, a not-for-profit company with some expertise in running libraries, employing experienced librarians to oversee the provision.  They were chosen as they offered 'best value for money' - their tender representing not only the lowest price of the short-listed bidders but also realising the highest score in evaluations.

As Cllr Timothy Godfrey points out, the deal stuck in Croydon will not realise any saving. In fact it will cost Croydon more than offering the contract to GLL or continuing the management of libraries in house, to the tune of a cool £4m over the life of the contract and no economies of scale realised.

The shocking figures for Croydon libraries were released in the recent CIPFA data, where back office costs, long identified as a huge barrier to the efficient and cost-effective running of Croydon libraries, are exposed as completely out of all proportion with any well run library service. This is no news to campaigners or the Labour opposition in Croydon as this was highlighted early on as a reason to reconsider the procurement process not only by Labour's Godfrey but by Tim Coates, who attended a shadow cabinet meeting and presented the stark facts to all in attendance, including the then Conservative lead on libraries Cllr 'Booktoken' Bashford.

Given this, it is unbelievable that Croydon would plump for a more expensive deal with Laing than to tackle the problem that they created in the efficient running of Croydon libraries or opting to let GLL run services, jointly with Wandsworth, at least excusable as it is cheaper and better than what is already on offer.

Thanks to Private Eye for covering the story - Issue 1331, available in all good newsagents.
Private Eye - page 28 of Issue 1331 - 11 January - 24 Jan. 2013


So we have a greatly reduced spec, no economies of scale and a hugely inflated cost to Croydon, in order to outsource our libraries to Laings (JLIS). 


You really couldn't make it up!